Why picking a milkshake flavor is the most difficult decision of my life

When I go to steak and shake (as I did recently) often times I'll just completely lock up when trying to pick a milkshake flavor. My friends just look at me and say "JUST PICK ONE ALREADY!!!". I usually respond with a, "I just can't figure out what looks good right now..."

"Which ones are you deciding between?"

"Haven't decided..."

"Well just pick three you like the most"

"I guess the cookies and cream, butterfinger, and mint chocholate chip"

"Which one do you want?"

"I don't know... hmm..."

Eventually it ends up like this:

"Ok pick a number between 1 and 50"

"49"

"Ok you're going with the butterfinger."

"Ok, awesome, (to the patient waiter) I'll take the butterfinger"


So here I am and I feel like this needs explaining.

It goes like this, I look at a menu and have a hierarchy of values with different weightings:

1-Moral issues: absolute ranking, immoral = no go
2-Cost: Exponential ranking: 100*((normal cost of item)^2-(current cost of item)^2) + 100 (if someone else is buying)
3-Preference: Range, from absolutely hate to absolutely love: (-100 to 100)
4- Deviation of sugar level and caloric content from desired level: -60 to 60
5- Level of fullness: from starving to stuffed: (-50 to 50)
6- Similarity to previous milkshake: Same to different: (-25 to 25)
7- Amount of chocolate: (-100 to 20) depending on mood and excessive amounts of chocolate
8- Deviation from normal 16oz serving: (-20 to 20)
9- Probability of a straw being effective (-10 to 10)
10- How cold I am: (-30 to 10)

Note that an overall negative in all categories results in no purchase


So, when I look at the menu the first thing that hits me is how much does it cost, usually that's a pretty hefty determining factor. But alas, all the shakes I was looking at were the same price, so that factor is useless.
-Preference. it's pretty iffy, but I really had maybe +80 for the butterfinger, and +60 for the mint and cookies and cream. This is a pretty intensive process though, I've got to run the flavors through my mouth and see if I get any response back such as my tongue saying: "I want to taste that" Also, previous experience or preferences with that flavor is also a factor.
-Deviation of sugar and caloric content from desired level. All the shakes are too sweet, so -20 for butterfinger, -40 for cookies and cream, and -30 for mint chocolate chip.
     The considering factors are this, mint chocolate chip is a vanilla/mint base, the chocolate adds some sugar. Because it's probably not semisweet (dark) it will be adding unwanted sugar, while dark would be tempering towards the standard. The cookies and cream is the highest calorie of the menu (maybe besides the triple chocolate with fudge) meaning a very high sugar content from the cookies and cream in the standard vanilla base. The butter finger is also a standard vanilla base, but while the butterfinger is a bit sweet, it's not as much a sugary taste as a different flavor.
-Level of fullness. Because I was hungry, and hadn't eaten in a while, a milkshake was pretty appealing... so no useful change in score here
-Similarity to previous milkshake. Most of the time I get milkshakes I usually get butterfinger if I can. Because I was feeling something different butterfinger gets a -10, and the other two get +10
-Amount of chocolate. Lots of chocolate makes me sick, hence the -100... because I really wasn't feeling chocolate, the mint gets a null 0 and the others get +10. The triple chocolate gets -70
-Deviation from normal serving. Steak and shake is a baseline for the average amount... no effect on score
-Probability of straw being effective. the cookies and cream is usually pretty bad for straws, -10, and the others get +10
-Being cold wasn't a factor.


Ok, so I've got to work through all that, and a lot of times I'll double check by running the opinionated ones again and see if anything changes. Yes, really.


So there you have it, it's not being indecisive, its a lot of math and heavy thinking!